Montreal QC – Complexe Desjardins is under fire for its controversial attempt to deter homeless individuals from sheltering in its stairwells—by blasting Baby Shark on an infinite loop at varying speeds and volumes.
Angels of Mercy, a charitable organization that provides meals and clothing to the homeless and some shoppers have dubbed the policy “cruel and unusual punishment,” though some parents argue that they’ve endured worse during long car rides with toddlers.
“It’s like walking into an audio nightmare,” said shopper Marie-Jolie Belhumeur, who accidentally took the stairs after the escalator broke down. “At first, it was normal speed, and I thought, ‘Okay, that’s cute.’ But then it got slower… and slower… until it sounded like a creepy horror movie. By the time I hit the third floor, it was at chipmunk speed and volume 11. My ears are still ringing.”
The mall management insists the strategy is effective. “We were inspired by similar tactics used by other public spaces to discourage loitering,” said mall spokesperson Diane De Bertier de Sauvigny. “But we wanted something more… memorable.”
Memorable it certainly is. Several people have taken to social media to share videos of their Baby Shark encounters, with captions like, “Welcome to Hell’s soundtrack,” and, “This is why aliens won’t visit us.”
“It’s one thing to discourage people from camping in certain areas, but this is psychological warfare,” said activist Chloé Roussel. “Even I couldn’t make it through five minutes in there, and I once sat through a Nickelback concert.”
Surprisingly, not all the reactions have been negative. Local DJ and sound artist Ublad “BassFins” Hamelin described the experience as “avant-garde.” He’s reportedly using recordings of the distorted Baby Shark renditions in an experimental remix titled “Daddy Shark Goes to the Rave.”
The backlash has forced the mall to reconsider its approach. “We’re open to feedback,” De Bertier de Sauvigny said. “Maybe next time we’ll try something more soothing, like the theme from Jaws or a 24-hour kazoo medley.”
In the meantime, local noise-canceling headphone sales have skyrocketed, leaving at least one stairwell visitor humming a different tune: “Capitalism always finds a way.”
